By K.M. Lang
Pandemic Musings From a Chronically Ill Fear Expert
FEATURED ESSAY
I didn’t sleep much last night. The COVID-19 updates that had swirling about my news feed were now swirling around in my head. Everywhere my mind turned, I saw disaster. I worried for my own health as a chronically ill 57-year-old, my husband’s health as an overworked small business owner. Then there was the business, itself. If we survived the virus, would we be left with nothing? And what about our sick and elderly loved ones?….
Essays
by KM Lang
I long to be seen and heard and understood. If I can’t find a way to tell others about my illness, they’ll continue to see only my rouged face and lipstick smile, and that will make me feel as invisible as my disease.
I’m glad i look ok
Facing (the End of) the World
“It feels like the end of the world.”
I’ve heard a lot of people say that in recent months, and I can totally see where they’re coming from. We were already struggling with COVID-19 when a brutal, public murder by a police officer sent our nation into a long-simmering tailspin of civil unrest…
My Body is a Dud, But…
When, after more than five years with a chronic, debilitating disease, I was finally able to see a specialist, it was everything I’d dreamt it could be. My new physician spent more than two hours dissecting my illness, from onset to present. She looked at my life as a whole, explored possible genetic, environmental and lifestyle factors,…
5 Years, 5 Lessons from Chronic Illness
However I mark the onset of my illness, I’m more than five years in. Whether I start the clock in the spring, when I was struck with a thunderbolt fever, or the following summer, when I found myself growing increasingly exhausted or in the fall, when chest pains finally sent me to the hospital — I’m five years past it all…
After the Apology
So, I received the apology. After more than five years, the crisp envelope showed up in my mailbox with the words “I am deeply, deeply sorry” penned on the back flap. Inside was a card with more of the same. Brief but comprehensive, my family member’s apology included no gaslighting, no misplaced blame…
I Give Up. Again.
Last night I gave up. Over-active dogs and an over-active illness were keeping me from sleep, my troubles were diving at me from every direction, and I reached the point of mentally throwing up my arms and shouting, “I give up! I’m finished.” And it felt right…
I’m Glad I Look OK, but I’m Struggling Just to Stand Here
Published by The Mighty on 7/14/17. “I’m sick.” “I have health issues.” “I struggle with chronic illness.” “I can’t %@# stand here any longer!” How does one tell an acquaintance, a neighbor or a store clerk that one has an invisible disease? It’s a skill I never...
Pandemic Musings From a Chronically Ill Fear Expert
Published by The Mighty on 3/15/2020 I didn’t sleep much last night. The COVID-19 updates that had swirling about my news feed were now swirling around in my head. Everywhere my mind turned, I saw disaster. I worried for my own health as a chronically ill 57-year-old,...